Invest

Without relationships, our lives would be so barren and empty. They bring so much joy, comfort and encouragement. But they can also be a challenge.

Great relationships involve give and take. They require teamwork. Everyone has to work at them in some way. Even if you are not consciously working on a relationship, you are still investing in it every time you relate with the other person.

We can invest positive things in our relationships. Encouragement, expressions of appreciation and time. We can also invest negatively through criticism, awkwardness and moodiness. 

One of the most significant ways we can invest in relationships of all kinds is to choose to make ourselves vulnerable. Wisely. But vulnerable. Letting other people know who you really are and how you really feel and think.

Many people are truly afraid to let others see the real them. Who they really are. But as we get to know Jesus more, we learn that our only true security is in knowing that He loves us unconditionally. He is changing and developing us and it`s ok to be who we are. We can leave our problems and bad moments and actions at the foot of the cross, receive forgiveness and move on into the day free from shame. 

When we are free from shame, we are not so afraid to make ourselves vulnerable to others. It`s also interesting to see that making yourself vulnerable in relationships with others can open the way for others to respond in the same way to you. Somebody has to make the first move. 

It`s true that sometimes you kick the ball in a relationship and get it kicked back in your face. But if you never give it a try, you could be missing out on something great. 

The ball`s all yours. 

1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment....We love because He first loved us.

Time to talk

It`s true, somethings are better left unsaid (see Unspoken, below). But there are also times when somethings just have to be said.

The tricky thing is how to let it out. Usually, when things need to be spoken, it`s because something must be addressed. An attitude, a hurt, an explanation.  Sometimes things ought to be said because without them, people are left in ignorance. Like an encouragement or affirmation. How does someone know you appreciate them if you don`t let them know it?

I`m continually amazed just how crucial 2 things are to good communication. Timing and attitude. 

And they both need to be in balance. Speaking the truth in the right way at the right time. Encouraging and affirming at that moment of need or success. Avoiding an argument in the heat of the moment so that you can take time to consider the real issue and discuss it quietly later.

Food for thought. A recipe for great communication and more peaceful relationships! Speaking at the right time, in the right way, from a right heart.

Ecclesiastes 3: 1 & 7: " To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven: A time to tear and a time to sew; a time to keep silence and a time to speak."

Unspoken

I`m fascinated by the true power of love. The world thinks of love as an emotional bond. A feeling.

But true love is also like a reflex action. It makes us react and respond spontaneously. It is also something to be learned. Like a journey of discovery.

Love is a joy and a challenge. Whether we are talking about romantic love, love amongst family members or in friendship.

Corinthians tells us that Love is the most excellent way. You can be as "spiritual" as you want, but if you don`t express that in love then it just makes a clanging repulsive impression. Hmmm. 

There`s also that brilliant phrase "speaking the truth in love" in the book of Ephesians. If we pastor, prophesy or simply want to be helpful. If we teach, correct or truly want to encourage. If we really want to become great and excellent as Church then we have to learn to do it in love.

Being honest, but saying it in love. Now there`s a challenge. So the next time you want to open your mouth to speak your mind, check out your attitude. Because you may be right, but if you can`t say it in love, it will repel.

Some things are better left unsaid.

Ephesians 4:14 & 15 "...that we should no longer be children...but speaking the truth in love...may grow up in all things into Him who is the head-Christ..."

Healthy Church

I`m a great believer in the importance of Church life. It`s so vital for every believer to be united in a body of local believers. Because our faith is worked out in our daily lives. Both with God and with others.

Church isn`t something we attend. It`s us. Followers of Jesus Christ, learning, growing and living together. A healthy Church expresses the reality of the love of Christ. To members of the Church and to non-members and non-believers. 

A healthy Church carries a fragrance. A unique fragrance. You get a taste of this aroma when you experience a corporate Church meeting. If the Church is truly healthy, you`ll also be attracted to the fragrance of each individual.

"Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and through us diffuses the fragrance of His knowledge in every place. For we are to God the fragrance of Christ among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing. To the one we are the aroma of death leading to death, and to the other the aroma of life leading to life." 2 Corinthians 2.14-16

Why not take a moment to consider the fragrance your life is giving off? It`s also worth remembering that the fragrance of a Church is the product of each individual member. The leaders may define the Church culture, but it is the members who affirm or sabotage it.