Invest

Without relationships, our lives would be so barren and empty. They bring so much joy, comfort and encouragement. But they can also be a challenge.

Great relationships involve give and take. They require teamwork. Everyone has to work at them in some way. Even if you are not consciously working on a relationship, you are still investing in it every time you relate with the other person.

We can invest positive things in our relationships. Encouragement, expressions of appreciation and time. We can also invest negatively through criticism, awkwardness and moodiness. 

One of the most significant ways we can invest in relationships of all kinds is to choose to make ourselves vulnerable. Wisely. But vulnerable. Letting other people know who you really are and how you really feel and think.

Many people are truly afraid to let others see the real them. Who they really are. But as we get to know Jesus more, we learn that our only true security is in knowing that He loves us unconditionally. He is changing and developing us and it`s ok to be who we are. We can leave our problems and bad moments and actions at the foot of the cross, receive forgiveness and move on into the day free from shame. 

When we are free from shame, we are not so afraid to make ourselves vulnerable to others. It`s also interesting to see that making yourself vulnerable in relationships with others can open the way for others to respond in the same way to you. Somebody has to make the first move. 

It`s true that sometimes you kick the ball in a relationship and get it kicked back in your face. But if you never give it a try, you could be missing out on something great. 

The ball`s all yours. 

1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment....We love because He first loved us.

Time to talk

It`s true, somethings are better left unsaid (see Unspoken, below). But there are also times when somethings just have to be said.

The tricky thing is how to let it out. Usually, when things need to be spoken, it`s because something must be addressed. An attitude, a hurt, an explanation.  Sometimes things ought to be said because without them, people are left in ignorance. Like an encouragement or affirmation. How does someone know you appreciate them if you don`t let them know it?

I`m continually amazed just how crucial 2 things are to good communication. Timing and attitude. 

And they both need to be in balance. Speaking the truth in the right way at the right time. Encouraging and affirming at that moment of need or success. Avoiding an argument in the heat of the moment so that you can take time to consider the real issue and discuss it quietly later.

Food for thought. A recipe for great communication and more peaceful relationships! Speaking at the right time, in the right way, from a right heart.

Ecclesiastes 3: 1 & 7: " To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven: A time to tear and a time to sew; a time to keep silence and a time to speak."

"The Secret" and Marriage

A teachable heart. The secret every Christian should embrace. 

When we first fall in love and head up the aisle, most of us are full of optimism. Great expectations, perhaps a little shakiness as well, but for the most part we marry because we are convinced that things are going to work out well for the two of us.

Our experience, both in our own marriage and in those we have observed and ministered into has convinced us that there is one fundamental principle that will make or break a marriage.

The willingness to learn from others and to seek help and to allow people to speak wisdom into our patterns of relating are crucial for every successful marriage. We don't need this all the time. Part of the adventure of marriage is the development of us as a couple. Each couple is unique and the blending together of two lives in Christian marriage is a very precious adventure.

Both marriage partners have to be prepared to change and grow. All of the time.

Both marriage partners have to be ready to learn from others too-- the right people with the right wisdom for the right moment! It's not so much a question of whether 2 people fit together for life. It's more a question of whether they are prepared to grow together.

So if you´re busy falling in love or making out your list of "must haves" in a perfect partner, knock off the "on fire for God" and the "sexy legs" from the top spot and write " a teachable heart" firmly in first place.  "On fire for God" is great for the second spot, but in first spot it's not much good if he or she ends up being a superspiritual fiery loose cannon who always thinks they know best.

"Teach me Your ways, O God, Teach me Your paths. Lead me in Your truth and teach me. For You are the God of my salvation; on You I wait all the day" Psalm 25:5